Woman & Home

November 2008

Touch can heal both body and mind

Masseuse Beata Aleksandrowicz tells Jo Foley about her mission to help the tribal people of the Kalahari, the vast African semi-desert

I remember the silence on my first visit – the silence of the night across the great Kalahari. But most of all, I remember the silence of the family when we first met- a silence filled with questions. What was a Polish masseuse from London doing in the Namibian Kalahari with a family of bushmen? It was strange and full of wonder, but I knew it was meant to happen.

I have three massage salons in London and believe passionately in the power of touch in healing both body and mind. I am saddened by how little people touch each other now – a teacher cannot hug a five-year-old who has fallen, and the elderly often have nobody to touch them any more. That’s why I have set up an annual appeal, “Touch a Heart”, where I ask therapists all over the country to give up a day to give massages at care homes. But there I was in Africa, learning just how important touch can be.

I had never been to Africa and hadn’t really thought about it until I was asked by a South African organic beauty company to devise a special Kalahari spa treatment from them. My first reaction was how could I possibly when I had never been there? But all things are possible, and in a few weeks, I found myself face to face with members of the oldest tribe in the world. There was the father of the group, !Gubi (his name is spelt with the exclamation mark at the front), his wife, Oma, their sons, John, Johannes and Magnus, and daughters, Maria and Tilos. And then there was Anna, the oldest daughter, the tribal healer and a woman who had been crippled with polio as a child and could only walk on her hands and knees. We looked at each other and immediately connected.

During the first visit, I spent the day with them communicating in the only way we could- through smiles and gestures- but before I left, I asked Anna if I could touch her. When she agreed, I massaged her arms and hands. The first true communication had begun. The next day, the others came to me and I massaged their heads, arms and shoulders. I slowly fell under their spell and learnt how difficult their lives have become as their old way of life has been eroded, with land being fenced off and used for farms or mining. I vowed that I would try to help them.

When I got married soon after, we asked friends for money rather than presents, which we used to buy 35 sheep for the bushmen. We have since set up a charity – it’s my aim that they have their own land that no one can take away from them.

When I returned this year, there was no silence as we embraced- touch had opened up the routes of communication. This time they all wanted to be massaged, and I experienced some extraordinary emotions. For instance, !Gubi sat bolt upright for his massage, and the minute I touched him he began to talk. It was like a chant and it got faster and louder, before it gradually subsided and he became calm. Afterwards I learnt that he was bemoaning all the terrible things that happened to the tribe. The massage released pent-up anger and bitterness.

They, too, use massage to heal, and on this visit Anna gave me her massage. I have much to learn from them, but it all goes to underline my belief that touch is the greatest communicator of all. You have to trust somebody to allow them to touch you- and that is the beginning of love.

For more information or to give, see thekalaharibushmensupport.com.